A CONTEMPORARY WOMAN:

    THREE POINTS OF VIEW ON: NATURAL AND SOCIAL

What differs us from the generation of our mothers? Does a contemporary woman live in conflict or in harmony with her own nature? Answers to these questions try to present Yelena Russkaya, Irina Gavrilova and Karine Gulazizova. Yelena and Irina work in a public relation agency "Mikhailov and Co", Karine is an independant consultant. Our interlocutresses have very interesting and different professions. This fact determines their opinion in many respects. We hope, you won't remain indifferent about the topic of our discussion, and we shall be able to continue our discussion in the next issues, publishing your points of view.

Image-makers say: There is a great difference between a woman before 1990 and a woman after 1990. In 1990 a social type of woman as well as fashion have shifted. Fashion - fashion for a frock or a type of feminine beauty is social. It has two sources: tradition and a social order. If there is a social order for a woman identical to a man, fashion is determined by it and chosen according to it: huge shoulders by no means conforms with womanhood. There appears an asexual image of a woman: a tank-woman, capable to remove any obstacles and to make career for herself, for her husband and her child.
An image can't be good or bad, up to date or out of date. In the beginning I worked with wives of the first persons of the state, then they were members of the Presidium of the Supreme Soviet. I remember, they payed a compliment to each other saying: "Oh, darling, you are beautiful as the Supreme Soviet!" And really as the Supreme Soviet: dull, official, a massive bosom pushed forward as if it were a flag on the building of the Supreme Soviet, a badge of a deputy of the tenth convocation instead of a brocch on the breast, facial expression as of a spinster, she speaks with her jaws clenched, her hairdo is overpolished with too much hair-spray upon it, so they could not turn their head and turn their trunk instead. Such type of a woman was required by that epoch. One can't forget their voices - as hard as iron, a voice of the "Iron Lady", as if it were uttering a curse upon you, it annoys you, this voice which permitted of no reply.
Today the social role of a woman conforms to her natural role. And what does it mean - a natural role? Woman-mother, home-keeper, kind, tender, smiling, all-forgiving. A woman is no "tank" anymore, she has thrown off the mask of the she-wolf, she used to put on to freighten children in a kindergarten, to freighten due to her own unprotectedness. Under this mask she hid her timid, unprotected, very uncertain essense. Her whole stout, corpulent appearence of a fatty screamed about her unsatisfied mental demands and fears. And once upon a time, suddenly this appearence changed. It was a woman touched by five-year plans before, and now she goes to the job as if she were going to the club. It's of no importance where she works, but she would be well-dressed, she would make up her face going out there. Her make-up also has changed: aggressive, too showy make up changed to another type underlying her natural beauty. Now make-up is a relief.
Woman even laughs differently now. Before she used to shout with laughter, when she could not help laughing, at other moments she just smiled with restraint. Today she is not afraid to give express to her feelings any more, she gives a natural, free laugh. She is not afraid to give express to her thoughts anymore, now she speaks freely, naturally. Woman is not afraid of her own essense any more!
Women's friendship has also changed. Before their friendship was based on heart-to-heart talk about three things: children, males and cloths. Now her requirements towards friendship are equal to those she sets for herself. Now women's friendship is based on their equal essence. Now they are anxious for the society, that is why clubs came into existence. A woman can't help speaking about her feelings. She needs to speak to those who are able to appreciate her. A different scenario of friendship also arose: "I am a genius, you are a genius, we both are genii."
A woman has no complaints to make anymore. Instead she began to put questions. She reserves her right to be weak, to be misunderstood. She does not consider her tears something shameful. This is a basis of the strenghth and womanhood of her nature.
One or other type exists 70-90 years. And time after time the mankind reverts to the same. After us a woman who would smoke would be needed again, our offsprings would demand again an emancipated woman. But today is an era of the Aquarius and Aquarius is the feminine sign bringing feminine standards.
A man generates ideas. It's his main value. But if there are too many ideas in the world, it gets out of breath. Here is a professor delivering a lecture: stratosphere, atmoshere, noosphere... A student asks a question: "Professor, and where is the sky?" That's a woman's question! Today the world, nature and a woman cry: "Where is the sky? Behind all of these very good things invented? It's all right, they have been invented, but now we should use them, all these ideas, but at first we should spiritualize and comprehend them."
The sky is spiritualization of all around us and it belongs to a woman, because it is related to figurativeness and not to a force. About the sky, by the way. There should be not less than 13-30% women in politycs. Otherwise a state would run according to the masculine standards. And the masculine type of solving problems, patriotism, for instance, usually are reduced to nationalism, direct opposition and war. From the other hand a feminine way of solving problems lies through the revival of traditions and the soil.
We have outlived the period of the matryarchy, we have outlived the period of patryarchy, we have outlived the period of equality and have come to the period of life according to nature. Our women get satisfied that they are women, and what is the most important, now they want to change the world to the better. That is a very womanlike desire.

IRINA GAVRILOVA,

a psychotherapeutist, a specialist of body-oriented therapeutics

I consider any pathologic process as a manifestation of any conflict displaced from the consciousness. For example, many gynaecological diseases are caused by displaced problems of a woman. In this case even a very good treatment does not guarantee a good result because a source of a disease remains.
Now we see the growth of the aesthetics of external forms. We are carried away by the external, but the externals do not always correspond to the internal content. Speaking about content I mean first of all health. Our mothers' generation could not easily choose the externals, but nevertheless it was more healthier. The problems of fibromas, mastopathys related to hypertrophied femininity were common for the generation of our mothers. A need to express their feminine features they could not vent to, bursted out through their phisiology, through a symptom.
Nowadays women got more freedom and opportunities to express their feminine qualities. A sexy woman making her career is needed in the contemporary society. However the more successfully socialization of a woman goes on, the more sharp is the conflict between biologic and social within her. This conflict arises because in the process of socialization a woman is forced to surpress her natural features or on the contrary to develop what is not natural for her. For example, a woman who has chosen independence and career, sometimes deliberately resorts to protective cynicism, when she do not want to look weak, is afraid to put herself to emotional dependence or is eager to avoid it. Sometimes she really protects herself. But afterwards she against her will gets swayed by her cynicism. It impoverishes her emotional sphere, compels a woman to be afraid of a real feeling, to avoid it.
A conflict between biological and social has one more reason, namely, a woman being a success in her social achievements is not be able any more to perform a certain role in her family. This inner conflict, this surpression of the natural qualities can not help leaving a trace in her health.
The generation of contemporary women is susceptible to inflammatory diseases and not only of the genito-urinal system. Inflammational diseases is a manifestation, is a cry. The more acute is the inflammation, the more acute is the situation. In general inflammation is a type of the body responce to inability of a human beeing to solve a problem as it is.
Inflammation might be chronic as well, without pronounced symptoms. If you see, you are putting on weight, if you feel depression, apathy, it might be symptoms of a chronic inflammation. As well as some problems with your skin, for example a growth of papillomas. The same inflammational diseases, continious sluggish from the point of view of gynecology, might manifest themselves as redistribution of fat in the body, its accumulation in the hips and thighs. Owing to susceptibility to inflammation diseases their reproductive function suffers, and I doubt I would make a mistake considering that in future woman's creativity in social realization as a form of compensation will inevitably increase.

KARINE GULAZIZOVA,

an analitic psychologist

I thought a lot about changes going on in a woman simultaniously with changes going on in the society. Today women are to make their conscious choice between mind and feelings. I make stress on the word "conscious" because before this choice also was present but this fact was denied both by socium and by a woman herself. During decades we were encouraged to develop the only part of it, I mean, mind-ratio. We were to think always and to think in a proper way (we were explained how to do this). But feelings remained infantile. Women who did not supress their feelings were considered by socium as silly hysterical women, worthless in any respect.
The previous stereotypes are alive and encourage women to act as before, using the old methods of manipulation, to look like "a clever one". It is especially common for women of the senior generation. They have grown up in the integral social model and have more steady psyche, than the generation of twenty. And though they also are "under pressure" (as all of us living in the end of the century, when innumerous problems are getting more and more complicated, particularly those living in Russia, when the situation is alwais extreme), many of them manage to make their lives a success within a rational model and even succeed in their career. The society forgive it to them.
It is more difficult for young women. Again and again they are to solve the conflict between mind and feelings. If a woman would choose a career, a new question arises before her: "And what about the family?", owing to the traditional opposition of caree and a happy family life. Our people think in this way: if a woman is a success as a wife, she's a fool. And if she succeeds in her career, she's obviously unhappy. If she doesn't seem to be unhappy, so she lies she's OK. And if she were really OK, her husband is an impotent. It's bad too!
I think, this opposition is an invented social myth and nothing more and have nothing to do with a real life. From my point of view the idea that the former is a substitute for the latter, is wrong. Both are different manifestations of human being realization, different parts of a human being capable to be reconciled, they might be friends, not enemies. But up to now the myth is alive, and we remain to be its hostages. I have not met a woman who has managed to reconcile all the acting parts of this conflict. But I meet a lot of women, who are eager to do it and have such a demand. And it is something.
Often I meet another situation in my practice. Promotion of a woman happens to be a result of a latent desire to attract a man who would love her, to become worthy of his love. At the same time she demonstrates such a self-sufficiency that you can't get near her. Such a woman is very vulnerable, because as a matter of fact she plays a wrong role and become a competitor of a man. I don't advise women to do something extraordinary, unnatural for them. They should act according their own nature, to listen to their rhythm, their own breath and understand what is her own and what is not, what helps her and what disturbs. Then we won't be ashamed of our womanhood, and the word "woman" won't assotiate with slavery and inferiority.

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